May 052013
 

I have to say, I’m feeling in a most peculiar way.

There’s a quote from Battlefield Earth I’d like to inappropriately throw in here, because it kind of helps to give you a sense of my frame of mind

While you were still learning how to spell your name, I was being trained to conquer galaxies! – Terl (the John Travolta character)

Not that I empathise with 8 feet tall badly acted colonising aliens, but I can get a sense of what’s he going on about.

I work for a large international corporation and my role is like the newt’s body part tossed into the witches broth: essential but trivial. I’m sure they could substitute me for someone or something else (curry powder?) and I know they eventually will – but for now it provides me with a secure income and some other benefits.

I do customer service. And I give good service. I know this because I consistently get high ratings for the service that I give from my customers. I do my job well. I do, however, feel sabotaged by the other teams that I rely on to get the job done. And I can’t do anything about that.

And that’s frustrating.

So trying to find meaning in my work at the moment is pretty pointless. All my studies and training and experience are sitting there, waiting to explode forth and put me into the international circuit for … whatever and succeed.

So, it’s a matter of just taking each day as it comes. I should go and buy some Successories or something to make me feel better. I’m sure some retail therapy is what I need.

So from here, where do I go? I think we sometimes forget about things like hard work and perseverance and just think everything will go well in a couple of weeks. I’m sure Major Tom didn’t get into space without years of training.

Patience is a virtue. I tell myself that when I’m on a late running train or in a queue and people are getting antsy around me. We didn’t always have on-demand access to information and delivery of services in the past. We’re living longer but becoming impatient for things that used to take time.

Life is complicated. Life is messy. Life goes on. So, sit back, go to your happy place and let’s listen to David Bowie …

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Sep 142012
 

Hello, my name’s Jim and I’m calling on behalf of the …

And so started each day. Again, and again and again. About 30 times an hour, for 8 hours a day I sold raffle tickets for a charity. Or more precisely, I sold tickets for an organisation that raised money for a charity.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Charities have to raise money. But the next time your dinner or TV watching is interrupted by one of those annoying fund raising calls, just think about the poor bastard whose only job it is, is making those calls. It’s a nasty, soul destroying job staring at a computer screen in a Zen like trance waiting for the automated click and the call to connect. (Yes, we didn’t even dial – I was an appendage to the machine.) But when it’s a choice between your bank taking your home away and you prostituting yourself out – it’s not a hard choice.

Click.

That’s the most common response. (Otherwise it was just “No thanks,” or worse.) If you get one of these calls and hang up, well, that’s pretty stupid. Why? Because they will call back. Again, and again and again. They have a massive location based database of numbers scraped from phone books from the last 20 (or more) years. It’s recycled about three to four times a year, and if you don’t answer, then the number just goes back into the pool. Even if you get a fresh new silent number from Telstra, if it was listed 20 years ago – they will have it.

But I’m on the National Do Not Call list

I hear you protest. Tough, it doesn’t apply to charities. Or,

I have a silent number. It’s unlisted.

They don’t care, it wasn’t silent before and now it’s in the database, so you’re going to get called. Once, I had someone who had only got the phone connected that morning – I was their first call as they were moving into their home.

The saddest customer is the old biddy who probably doesn’t have full use of their faculties and still has a credit card. Yes, young man, you sound honest, I’ll hand over $200 for tickets for a prize I could never make use of with money that isn’t really mine. The other type of person who I hated calling was the one who was interrupted doing something (like in the shower) who dashed out to answer the phone. Really? Don’t you people know how to use voice-mail? In fact, why do you have a land-line anyway? Come the next 20 years and there will be fewer and fewer POTS numbers to call.

So, of that $200, 100% went to the charity – literally. When I made a sale by credit card, I put the details straight into a web form for the bank account of the charity. If you wrote a cheque, then it was in the name of the charity. (Quite a few of the younger employees working there had never seen a cheque.) But then the calling organisation would charge back about 40% of the cost of the service. If you think about it, you have to spend money to make money. Even those charities that do all the work themselves: making the call, buying the prizes, etc. still have to spend the same amount of money.

At least the job was honest. We got paid on time, we got our superannuation (eventually) and they looked after employees who managed to keep going for the long run. But it was hard, mentally draining work – and you had to be good to keep your job. And by good, I mean make $30/hour in credit card sales and up to $90 in combined credit card and cheque sales – for every hour you worked, and if you didn’t you’d get the “Please don’t come back.” talk from the supervisor – no matter how long you’d worked there. It basically paid your wage and the overhead of the organisation. If you decided not to turn up for a day unannounced, you lost your job. If you dicked around too much, you lost your job. Seriously. Some days the owner would walk through, see someone using their mobile to surf Facebook or similar and politely say to them “Please don’t come back.” And he could – because we were casual, hourly wage slaves. If you didn’t focus on the job, then you’d be let go. And every Friday about eight or so new bags of fresh blood and bone in human form would turn up, give it a go and maybe come back for more punishment the next day.

So, how do you get them to stop calling you I hear to ask. It’s very simple – when you get a call, repeat after me:

Hello, I appreciate the work you’re doing, and I realise it’s your job but I’d rather not get these calls. Please put me on your Do Not Call list. Also, does your organisation make calls for any other charities? Yes, please put me on those Do Not Call lists as well. Your floor manager has a form you can fill in to remove me from all the databases, and I’m happy to wait on the phone while you do it. Thank you.

Insight Charity Fund Raising Services does fund raising for a few charities, if you want to donate to them (the charity not Insight CFS) I’ve linked to their donate page:

 

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Jan 072012
 

Former McDonald’s executive Guy Russo had “retired” at 47. He had left his job managing the greater China region, had bought a house in Hong Kong and was doing some consulting. He had time to spend with his three children and work pro bono with his wife Deanne for a Chinese orphanage foundation. Then he got a call from Richard Goyder, chief executive of Perth-based conglomerate Wesfarmers, who persuaded him to return to Australia to revive the ailing discount retail chain Kmart in September 2008.

Russo knew all about the fast-food service industry but he’d never worked in retail …

From The Financial Review BOSS Magazine

According to his profile on LinkedIn he was at McDonald’s for 34 years, having started right at the bottom. His Wesfarmers profile says a bit more, with him attending the McDonald’s McUniversity and Macquarie University Graduate School of Management in Sydney.

So, that’s the secret sauce right there: Russo didn’t know didly squat about the retail industry, has bugger all qualifications, yet gets called up and offered the top job at Kmart. Just like that. I’m sure there must have been more going on behind the scenes, but it doesn’t sound like Russo was even looking for a job. Maybe he’s a mate of a mate of Goyder.

Here’s a guy who’s worked his whole life at McDonald’s and worked his way up the food chain with just High School knowledge and in-house training. He then gets promoted to McDonald’s China, which is all well and fine. If he’s worked there that long, I guess it’s just a matter of waiting until everyone higher up leaves or dies from obesity related diseases.

He says:

Kmart was a test for me: can you do something you have no training in and use the skill sets that you have learned? … Because I knew very little, for six months I shut up and listened and observed. I tried to learn as much as I could …

Somehow I can’t see myself using that line in an interview.

Yeah, sure. I’ll sit around for 6 months watching and observing because I don’t know a thing about this company, its industry or its people. Oh, and you’ll pay me an executive salary.

So, I’m still stuck for a job. I don’t have the networks of people so I can just walking into something with a phone call letting them know I’m coming. I don’t have the consistent work experience because I keep attaching myself to the wrong horse.

I have the qualifications, I have the skills, I have the experience – at least I believe I do. What I don’t have are the connections, the contacts and the relationships with the people that make the decisions. And that’s what’s killing me. I spent so long living overseas that I came back to a blank slate. The city in Japan that I lived in was small enough that I could meet most of the other teachers, network with them and search out new jobs without too much hassle. But here, in Sydney, it’s a completely different situation.

And so I’m stuck. Maybe I should go and work in the mail room.

I’m going to write more about how following my dream killed my career, but that can wait. I’ve got plenty of time – I’m unemployed.

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