Hospital

To visit a friend.

I’m procrastinating.

I’m supposed to be going to visit a friend in hospital. Her operation was this morning, and she’ll be in a groggy, pain induced state now. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to waste my afternoon sitting by her bed while she’s feeling like shit. But she wants me to go, and will feel a lot better if I do go. She’s not a close friend, just someone I know. But she doesn’t have any other friends so I’m it. I’m on caring duty. Again.

I seem to attact people who think I care. I do care, at least I think I do. But I don’t want to. I just want to run away and live in my own little world. By myself, just to come out and visit every now and then to catch up on things and re-stock.

It’s hot. It’s my day off. I’d rather just spend the time sitting in a cool (air-conditioned, and funky) cafe studying Japanese. I’ve got a Japanese test in December that I failed last year, and unless I pull my finger out, I’ll fail again this year. It’s not really important but I’d like to know I can do something right.

Each day goes past. I feel like a robot at work. Get files, open files, choose lesson, teach lesson (follow teaching recipe,) write up files, put files away. Repeat 7 more times. Go home, drink beer.

But I know, if I don’t go to the hospital, I’ll just waste my day at home. One the computer, or something.

On other fronts, I’ve had a few interviews with different schools. The weather has started cooling down a bit. And the money is holding out. Things should be good, but alas …

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